Re-defining Normal
On Re-Defining Normal, we are having conversations to question conventional thinking and talk about the courage it takes to create, and live, a deliciously vibrant life.
This podcast is for people who know there's a better way to do life and love....how we show up in connection to others, our kids, our partner, our business... and beyond that our relationship with money, vitality and more than anything, ourselves.
We're two shamelessly unapologetic moms choosing to experience the fullness of life and we're collapsing the conditioning that says you can't live a life of pleasure, peace and abundance in the midst of the mundane of work, life and kids.
Re-defining Normal
Emotional Balance for Parents and Families
Ever wonder why parenting often feels like an emotional minefield? Join us as we uncover the secrets to navigating conflict and big emotions with our children. We'll explore how societal norms can trigger reactive parenting and share how building emotional capacity can transform your approach. Jamie dives deep into the importance of holding presence and guiding our kids through their emotional experiences without projecting our own issues. Listen in as we reflect on our personal journeys of overcoming dysregulation and reactivity, and discover how these skills are crucial not just for parenting, but for all relationships.
We'll also journey through the impact of generational conditioning and emotional honesty within the family dynamic. Hear personal anecdotes about managing explosive emotions and the profound importance of self-awareness and open communication. Our special guest, human design expert Kelly Greenough, shares how understanding relationship mechanics can revolutionize parent-child interactions. Learn about the Parenting Paradox framework, a powerful tool combining human design insights with practical strategies for creating co-creative, respectful relationships. Whether you're a parent or simply interested in emotional growth, this episode offers transformative insights to create a more loving and balanced family environment.
Welcome to redefining normal. Join us as we question conventional thinking and talk about the courage it takes to create and live a deliciously vibrant life.
Speaker 2:This podcast is for people who know there's a better way to do life and love how we show up in connection to others our kids, our partners, our business and, beyond that, our relationship with money, vitality and, more than anything, ourselves.
Speaker 1:We're two shamelessly unapologetic moms choosing to experience the fullness of life.
Speaker 2:And we're collapsing the conditioning that says you can't live a life of pleasure, peace and abundance in the midst of the mundane of life, responsibilities, work and kids.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening in. Let's do this. Today, jamie and I are coming together to talk about how to navigate conflict and big emotions with our kids, so we're going to have a little bit of a parenting conversation, which we haven't done yet. So I'm super excited by this. It is Jamie's forte she. She's amazing and we both have really amazingly different and wonderful ways that we navigate our parenting and how we've come from and where we are currently. We've both definitely evolved in our parenting cycles. So, uh, jamie, do you want to start with? Uh, where do we think, like as we think about normal in the world today in parenting, when we're looking at emotional capacity and we're looking at helping our children to be in their emotions and navigate conflict? Where do you see us as a society?
Speaker 1:and normal at the moment.
Speaker 2:You know broad generalization but I would say that there's a lot of kind of dropping into our own trigger around whatever's happening and actually meeting our kids where they're at, versus holding a position of stability, of wisdom, of holding. For me personally it feels a lot like there's just a lot of trigger around it. I think parents in general are really uncomfortable with witnessing and holding presence and being in conflict or the expression of big emotions by our kids guilt. It brings up our own inner child stuff, the way our parents did it, what we think should be happening yeah, it can. It brings up a lot.
Speaker 2:I think when our children express big emotions or when we're in conflict with our kids You'd said earlier when we were just talking about you know one of your kiddos having big emotions and that part of the reason there was oftentimes big like clash is because you were also operating.
Speaker 2:You know it's like you were operating at that same energy I, my thing tends to be. It activates a lot of like parenting, like shame, self-judgment, like what did I do wrong that my kid is this upset about something, or you know, like if there's conflict, that they're being disrespectful. It brings up all my conditioning, the way I perceive the way I think it should look, and then this doesn't look like the thing that I had in my head and in that moment it becomes really hard to stabilize, to bring awareness to what's happening and then to connect to, like the North Star of what it is that I want to create in this relationship in this moment, because, as parents, we're guiding our kids on how to navigate hard feelings, how to navigate big emotions, how to navigate conflict in a healthy and growth oriented way, and if we can't model that and guide them in that, um, we're missing a huge opportunity.
Speaker 1:I love that, thank you. I was just taking a little note there. I love that, thank you. I was just taking a little note there. Yeah, really well said, I wanted to add into there's. I was just taking a few little things as you were talking about some things that came up as you were speaking, and one of them is you were talking about how parents struggle in conflict and I wanted to kind of extend this out. It's not parenting. I think most humans, yeah, start very uncomfortable and struggle to be of extend this out.
Speaker 1:It's not parenting.
Speaker 1:I think most humans, yeah, very uncomfortable and struggle to beat emotions, and I know for me, as a woman with big emotions, I have been told I'm too much for many people Right, it's also like in the context of relationship too, that the capacity of the other human to hold emotion and there are definitely humans in this world who struggle with that, right, and you know, one of the greatest gifts that I've been receiving with this other partner has been to be able to be seen in it and be able to be held in it, and so I know that there is a capacity, right, and so this is kind of the thing that I think, as we talk about what was and what we are moving into, is this capacity to be like I'm the same person, but oh, for somebody else.
Speaker 1:This was easy, right, and so that's capacity, but it wasn't because it was always easy, and I'm going to say for both of us, like our capacity to hold our children, right, you've talked about this in your you know, blogs and all that you know you talk about often is how like you wish in some way that you could be the parent that like knew all of this to start with Right, but neither of us did.
Speaker 1:I yelled at my kids.
Speaker 2:I was totally. I was such a yeller yeah.
Speaker 1:I was totally dysregulated and so reactive, so reactive and this is what you were saying. Like Sam, was this huge mirror for me and I couldn't, I didn't have the capacity to hold myself at the time.
Speaker 1:So there was no way I could hold him. And I want to say this because this is what's normal in a lot of houses, right, like we want to project all of our shit onto our kids and we struggle to hold them, but that's ultimately because we haven't learned how to hold ourselves, and so then we shame their emotions. Stop that. I can't cope with you, stop tantruming. And the other thing that was coming to me too, the I can't cope with you, stop tantruming.
Speaker 1:And the other thing that was coming to me too, the other word was it's inconvenient. Right, for a lot of people it's very inconvenient that our kids have tantrums, but the reality is it's inconvenient as a human, as an adult, when we have tantrums, right, and sometimes we have to like say, hey, tantrum, you're going to have to wait a minute and I can deal with you at the end of the day, right, but we're adults who can manage that. Sometimes we can't. Sometimes we just freaking tantrum and the person who's near us gets the thing Right, until we know what I'm saying, like I didn't know when I did that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But when we learn, we can learn that like okay, I can feel this, I can recognize this and I can go and recognize that in four hours from now, when I am at home in my space, I can deal with what I have in my body, in my emotional capacity.
Speaker 1:I can deal with what I have in my body and my emotional capacity, right, but kids don't have that and most adults don't have that until we learn that, and so I think it really kind of comes into where the normal is now. And I also would say, this comes into if I look at like a really In your face perspective of like, if we come back down to earth, like human, human connection, um, it might also it might look like there's people in this world who gaslight, who will literally say your emotions stop. I know it. Like you have to stop crying.
Speaker 2:Right, like you don't know what you're feeling, or this is inappropriate behavior, or yeah, whatever you don't know what you're feeling right.
Speaker 1:This comes out and it's really heartbreaking to watch. Um, right, when, when a child's like I'm feeling and they're like, no, you're not, you don't know what you're feeling right. Or a human, we say this other humans, unless you know. Again, um, one of the ways does it come out like that, when we're in connection and communication, um, it'll be a shutdown, like the, the person might shut down right and like a lot of people might retreat and just not actually be able to handle it, and so then they disappear. So they disappear in partnership.
Speaker 2:But they also didn't. Yeah, right, like I can't with you right now, and then then yeah, or the, you know, sending them to the naughty corner, right.
Speaker 1:I can't cope with you, so I'm going to send you out somewhere else because I can't deal. So I'd say these are some of the behaviors that people might see in your household or in other households that you know for a long time is really normal, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, still probably is in a lot of. In a lot of ways, and I mean that's the whole purpose that we have these conversations, though, isn't to shame the way it is, but to it's like to highlight what's going on, yeah, and offer alternative perspectives and why they might be valid, because the thing is that when we look at individuation and everybody doing things in the way that works for them, this is going to look different for everybody, but ultimately it comes down to our capacity and our willingness to feel what we're feeling and to, you know, like, explore what it's bringing up for us and be responsible for ourselves, and we're literally redefining these things. You know, it's like we're breaking generational cycles and patterns by redefining. I mean, like yesterday, rumi and I we had some conflict. Her and I are so similar that we butt heads a lot. Her and I are so similar that we we butt heads a lot, and you know, I don't like without. I don't even remember the specifics necessarily, but in the conversation, you know, there was some like hesitation to be in conflict, and I and I asked her if she was willing to redefine that with me. That conflict is our opportunity to correct and adjust the way that we are communicating with each other. Conflict is showing us a place where we are not on the same wavelength and so, instead of avoiding it, instead of, like just trying to avoid recognizing those things, if we actually started to welcome them as, as awareness of like, we don't see eye to eye on this thing, how can we communicate better so that we're understanding each other better and really starting to frame conflict as an opportunity to learn more and collect data and experience something new with each other? Because the like?
Speaker 2:I told her that one of my biggest fears is that if we don't learn how to navigate conflict in a healthy way because I'm the position of power as the parent, and then she learns to just accommodate my the way I think it should be, that inevitably that starts to build resentment, whether or not she's consciously aware of it, to the point where we don't actually have a close relationship because there's so much built up resentment. So I actually asked her if she was willing to participate in the conflict with me so that we could continually grow together instead of, like, continually creating more and more distance without even conscious awareness on either of our parts. Because my biggest desire is is to always that my kids always know that I love them and that I'm there for them and that we are a team, right, like there's nothing that they could do that would alienate me. And, like we talked about earlier, a lot of this is correction from when they were younger and I would dismiss or I would get frustrated or I would be reactive in conflict, and so I'm having to correct a lot of that and I'm having to intentionally invite my kids back into redefining what that looks like now.
Speaker 2:And luckily, you know, rumi is mature enough and present enough to say of course, that's what I want too, and I don't want to grow to that point. And so, yes, I'm, I'm here for it and I'm a part of it, and we're, you know, we're learning how to be in conflict in a healthy way, and I think that, like you've said, this is important in any relationship. It's. I think that there's a lot of weight in it as a parent, because we are breaking cycles and we're literally teaching the next generation how all of this works. So, the more that we as parents, can model things that we want to see more of, um, you know, we're feeding that into the future collective, but it's important in any any relating dynamic, I think absolutely, and thank you for that.
Speaker 1:That was beautiful. I'm so glad that you are having that conversation with her.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's big, it's, you know, it's really big to recognize and we stayed at the table like like it was easy for both of us to be like, oh, I'm so frustrated, let's just, you know, go our separate ways, which comes from you're having big emotions right now. Go sit and time out until you can communicate. That is a lot to ask of a brand new nervous system who is feeling big things and does not have the tools to regulate, like to send them off to be by themselves, versus staying with them in the big emotion, and oftentimes parents can't do that because it feels big in our system. And then when you bring human we have our own emotions Exactly, Exactly In human design to.
Speaker 2:Rumi has a defined emotional center and mine is open, so when she feels big things, I take it into my body and amplify it. Oh, so then, also with that awareness, I'm like this is not my emotion, but what I used to do is feel it and then act like it was mine and make a story about how it was. Frustration I got probably one of the worst feelings in my body you know to feel. And Kelly Greenough who it does the human design part of parenting paradox.
Speaker 2:She was talking about how generators make up a majority of the population right now and a majority of them are frustrated. So generator auras are enveloping, right, so we literally like wrap people in our energy. And when you think about a majority of the population as generators and then in that, frustrated generators enveloping the people around them with frustration, like that, it's like it helps me to understand so much the state of the world. Whereas if we started to teach every design type what their strategy is and what their emotional, you know like profile is, and what the world would be like if more generators were satisfied and enveloping the people around them with satisfaction, like yum, you know which? You know it's like it perpetuates success in the projectors and peace in the manifestors. Yeah, and what is reflectors?
Speaker 1:I can't remember what reflectors, emotional, um I would think peace, but that's me, that's manifest.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, that's you, I can't remember anyway. Um, yeah, so also, I guess you know it's like learning specifically how you work, how your child or children, and understanding the mechanics of it is a massive, massive gift.
Speaker 1:Parenting with human design is so big. Okay, wait before I, before we go there, because I definitely think we should go there. Actually, I think you should tell them a little bit about parenting paradox as well. Um, but I wanted to say, if we cook back right before we take off to that conversation, I really I want to really bring a point in that Jamie and I are sitting here saying like we were not, we were doing a lot of the quote, unquote, normal when we started parenting and through the years, we have figured out like this stuff for ourselves and how to help our kids.
Speaker 1:And I want to say this because I think it's really important to have the awareness that a lot of people think, oh, I fucked it up, or I fucked my kids up, or I can't repair this, or they're too far gone, or our relationships too far gone. Or, like even for me, in the capacity of having a mom and I who are estranged, right, my mom and I've asked for repair, but she couldn't come to the table for it. And so if she came to me, if she didn't ever come to me one day and say, carrie, I'm ready, let's have this conversation, I'm all in for it. Right, I'm all looking for it and I'm saying that as a 40, how old am I? 46 year old woman, right Like there's never too late to repair, there's never too late to change the situation, there's never too late to realize that generational conditioning, like, is what you've been playing out, and there's new choices, and there's no shame in it, there's no judgment in it, there's no nothing, because it's all what we've been taught.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And until you have the awareness that you're like, oh my God, this actually isn't healthy and there's other ways to do this that create a far more harmonious home, right Like when he moved out, it was so beautiful because I got to have this experience of not.
Speaker 1:I mean, well, it was so beautiful because I got to have this experience of parenting my kids the way I wanted to parent them, without another influence. That was not the influence that I wanted to have anymore, like I had grown through that and my kids and I have the most amazing loving relationship now and we don't fight and we work together and with and I say this because I was really fucking explosive and Sam was really fucking explosive and like it was hardcore sometimes and like his tantrums would be sometimes 45 minutes of smashing into me and like hurting me right, I used to stand on the inside of my bedroom door and like pound and straight, that's it me too and and I would just sit on the inside just crying because I'm like what the fuck, what the fuck do I do with this?
Speaker 1:right, you can't let them out in the house, right? You can't let them out in the house because you're like, oh my god, they're gonna destroy my house. I couldn't let them run because he's gonna hurt robbie. So I would just sit in the room and you take it right Like it was intense. Both of us can say it but, through this process and Sam still has right Rumi still has really big emotions.
Speaker 2:And so do I sometimes.
Speaker 1:This is great, like, like, if we're being honest, yeah it's great and it's so beautiful to say like we're all still the same people but we're learning how to navigate it very differently, and even things like when you say I have big emotions. Like you know, this last few weeks has been really challenging for me. I've had some really fucking big emotions and it's really consumed me, and one of the ways that I've handled it with my kids is to say hey, guys like to be honest. I have been honest with them and a lot of people want to hide it, and a lot of people want to hide, right, my heart was broken. So what am I going to do? Try and hide heartbreak from my kids? No, I'm just going to tell them hey, I've had a heartbreak and this is what's going on.
Speaker 1:And the first week of it I was so fricking distant and I was like I'm really and I it was, like it was a beautiful conversation between us. I'm like you guys, what owned, what was going on? But through that process, they learn that, hey, it's okay to have some big emotions, right, because we model this for them by having them and saying I have these big emotions, but it's not your problem. I'm going to hold myself, but also, I'm not really the most present mom this week for you and I'm sorry, and that's the balance is being able to be honest and not make it their responsibility.
Speaker 2:Oftentimes, kids with very emotional parents mothers in particular start to learn that it's their job to take care of their mother's emotions, because it's unsafe, Like if mom is upset, then things get chaotic. So I'm going to behave in a way that doesn't trigger that. And so there is such a nuanced dance of being honest and reminding your kids that their development, their health, their process is important and that they are not responsible for you and watching all of the subtle ways that you may be creating. You know that perception in our kids, while still being really authentic and honest and human, Like this, is the thing I think. So often parents are expected to not be human. You know it's like once you get um, once you have kids like you can't, you don't get to all of these things anymore, and it's like, no, you're still the same exact person. Yes, there's another being now that's impacted by it, and there are, there are, ways to navigate that, and every alchemical relationship of parent child is going to be different based on the two individuals at play. My relationship with one daughter is very different from the other at play. My relationship with one daughter is very different from the other. And yeah, it's. It's the capacity to hold, to be, to even just recognize what's moving in us, so that we don't project that onto our kids.
Speaker 2:And I think that's something that us moms who have done it in the normal way and created some toxic patterns in our family dynamics is this awareness that one of the consequences may be that our children don't want to repair that right now.
Speaker 2:And holding and being with the part of us that's so scared of that, you know, because it actually, I think, mirrors our own abandonment fears from our parents. And now our kids are abandoning us. And you see this a lot in our generation. I think there are a lot of people our age who do not talk to their mothers mothers in particular or parents, and a lot of that has to do with that generation not being able to apologize, to take responsibility for their part in the dynamic, for really perpetuating the like you're the child, I'm the parent, this is how things work and it's our generation that is kind of mantling that in a lot of ways and showing up with our kids in a way. That's like I want to be a part of the solution and I hear you and I see you and I want to understand you and I want to take responsibility for my part in it.
Speaker 1:Right, it makes me so excited to see this generation grow because there's so many of us who are changing the way that we we do this with them. So they're going to, they're going to grow up with so much less baggage I mean there's still going to be baggage of, but it's different and they have a lot more awareness and I think it's really beautiful. You know, I'm going to say this. It's I will say this Because I've been on some dates lately with some younger men, or over the time, over the years, right Over the years, and recently, who are early 30, 27, 28, early 30. And there's a part of me who really loves, by the way, for those listening playing age Like it's never been past a date. I will say that at this point in time.
Speaker 1:But it's been really fascinating for me to meet, right Cause some of these like some like what I find it's like almost like this check-in. I'm like one day there something might happen. I'm not adverse to it, right Cause I'm kind of like where, where is the spectrum? What? What difference does it make? Age? Somebody can show up in the maturity level and this is what's been so fascinating to me, because that generation there's a maturity that is there innately at that age and I find it really friculous, right, and I'm like it really like it really is beautiful in my heart to see the way these men show up at age and I'm like good things are changing, like it is beautiful to see you in this way and it really like I don't know, maybe this is part of the like, for my thing right now is just like the enjoyment of getting to see people that age and see really how they're showing up right now and see how the generations are moving through people right, like just hearing different things. Um, so I just want to say that I think it's really interesting to see, as we, you know, go down the generation, that this stuff is showing up with more ease. They're not having to go through the fricking shit show that some of us have been through at our age to change it, because some of them are being raised in this way, which is beautiful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, so can we? Can we now hop into, I think does that part feel complete, cause I know that we're going to have to wrap up soon. So can we hop into a little, a little piece on? Tell us a little bit about parenting paradox that you're doing and then let's have like a few minute chat. I know it's going to be so hard for us to say to a few minutes, but I'm just aware of of our time and that we want to keep these to time around human design let's start that. Maybe we need to have like a whole show on human design and parenting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, because that is a massive conversation.
Speaker 2:It's a massive conversation but I think we should. I think we should have a little taster today, yeah Well, so similar to your wealth calibration. You know I saw that you were talking about how I've been preparing. I've been preparing for this conversation for for years, right, and so excited to finally be in it and holding it and offering it.
Speaker 2:Parenting paradox is very much the same way is a body of work that's growing and evolving over gosh, you know, I mean really the last almost two decades because I do have a 19 year old. But you know, seriously, in the last five years, and every time it stretches me because it shows me where I am being called, into deeper integrity with my own parenting relationships. And I recently invited Kelly Greenough, who is a brilliant human design expert. She's a projector, so the way that she sees deeply into a system is phenomenal. And I finally gave her a solid invitation that she felt a yes to. And so her and I are meeting on a regular basis to really help parents understand the human design aspect of parent-child relationship. And we're combining that with the four pillars of Parenting Paradox and the four structures that help you and me and anybody that wants to shift from like the old kind of like conflict and you know it's almost like at odds kind of dynamic between parents and kids, teenagers in particular, to a co-creative, mutually respectful dynamic in the house.
Speaker 2:And it's just been so amazing to start to recognize, because you know, when you look at human design it becomes the mechanics of the relationship and it makes it easier to not feel like it's so personal when you totally recognize the mechanics. Right, it's like, oh, this is a projector trying to engage with the generator and I frustrated because she's not responding to me but she doesn't know how to respond. That's not how she is, you know. So what used to be like she doesn't like me and she's being disrespectful in this like personal story, is mechanical now and it's like, oh, how do I speak to a projector, how do I invite her into this conversation? How do I let her know that my natural tendency is a response?
Speaker 2:So that whole aspect, adding Kelly Greeno's, her unique kind of transmission, like there, I've been studying human design for ages and there are things that I've I know, I know and I've learned. And then she says it and I'm like, holy fuck, that makes so much sense now on a different level of my being that I can actually apply functionally to my relationships. Um, so parenting paradox was growing, but I feel like what's really clicked it into place was adding this very like mechanical, technical, human design to it. Um, yeah, has been epic.
Speaker 1:I'm excited, you guys, if you're so. Basically, what we're saying is if you want some support in your parenting, talk to Jamie, send her a message.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I mean like this whole, like we're actually creating like a self-guided process or, if you want more hands-on, and like Kelly's eyes on on you know everybody's charts and stuff like that, like we're we're creating lots of different ways for parents to access resources, from free all the way up to high touch stuff.
Speaker 1:So amazing, amazing, amazing yeah it's been amazing.
Speaker 2:So okay, guys um, okay.
Speaker 1:So what do we want to say parents?
Speaker 2:learn.
Speaker 2:I mean this is it's so funny because, like you do it via money, I do it through parenting or relating, but it's it's basic shadow work Like what are you projecting into your relationships that are making them toxic and start to be responsible for what it is, the stories you're creating and the way that you're projecting onto this other person that you really love, you know and you want to co-create with and start to explore what it is that, yeah, that you can do to hold yourself in those things, to make space for them to hold themselves, versus this really weird, toxic, complicated, distorted cycle of fighting with you know, perceptions of each other, yes, yeah, yeah, and we can't change our kids' behavior.
Speaker 2:So the only thing you can change is you as a parent. The only work you can do is on yourself and your capacity to witness and hold your child. When parents come to me and they say how do I fix my child, I don't know. I can't help you with that because that's not what we do. I don't know I can't help you with that because that's not what we do.
Speaker 1:Did you ever tell you that when I first started my my world into my own business, it was right after Robbie was born, so Robbie is now 15. And so probably about 15 years ago, and I started doing talks on parenting and people kept wanting me to, wanting to know how I had such an amazing child. And I was like, well, I'm an early childhood teacher, educator, that's my diploma or my degree. Yeah, I have done body work, nutrition. By then I'd already done, you know, neuro-linguistic programming, like there were so many things. I was like I suppose I probably have some tools in my tool belt of why I'm, why I parent the way I do.
Speaker 1:And, um, I started, uh, I started. I even bought like super nannycom or super mama, super mama, cause it was super nanny, was big super mama, and I did a presentation. I did the whole thing. I was going to do mama cards, like five minute mama cards, cause you know, in those days, those times of life, when it's like you have five minutes and even in that five minutes you can't even remember that you wanted to like paint your nails, you're like I don't know what I want to do for myself because you're so freaking tired so I was like I wanted to make the cards that were like these are the things you can do for yourself in five minutes, right, it's the whole thing planned out and, just like you said, jamie, I kept talking to people about doing it and they wanted me to fix their babies. I'm like your baby is nine months old, your baby is two years old, like there's nothing fixing, they're just mirroring you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's no all there is doing is mirroring you. They can't do anything else and, like, just find their little bodies. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, right, and so I didn't. I dropped it all Cause I'm like I'm not going to come in here and it's like what you need is you.
Speaker 1:You need you're the one who needs to do the work, and so maybe that's probably how we should like even wrap this and like say, and I'll wrap it together actually, because human design and we were saying we're going to say a few things about human design, I think you know talking about shadows and things um, and knowing that we are the, we are the problem or we are the thing, when you know your own human design, you know their human design, right. And then if you go deeper and you know the gene keys of it, you know the shadows of it. You can pinpoint exactly down to oh, I'm living in my shadow, I'm doing that thing, it's not anything to do with them or where you would have wanted to get pissed off and like, slam a door and never speak to someone again. I mean, this is what's been going on with my ex-partner and I, right, like I wanted to slam a door so hard in his face. But I went.
Speaker 1:I went oh, it's in his fucking shadow right here. Yeah, yeah, and you can really start to go. Okay, so I have compassion. Great, you're in your shadow. Now I can show you. Here's your shadow. Yeah, here's how we can like. This is what we can do. Let's work through this.
Speaker 2:Whatever. That is patient too, because you asked him like do you want to see, do you want to understand? Because, if you don't, because this is actually the conflict between me and, um, my youngest is that I tend to want to offer alternative perspectives when she just wants to feel angry, and I'm non-consensually coaching her and that's part of the way I'm built, like I'm just like there's a lot of other ways to see that and there are a lot of happier ways to see that, there are a lot of easier ways to see that, and that is not helpful when she just wants to feel her defined, emotional, wants to feel the frustration so that it can move.
Speaker 1:But also and then also knowing that right. So this is another piece of like why human design is so important, because also, knowing that is like we know that Rumi is going to have to go through a big human emotional wave and we can't stop that. And when you're an emotional, you just can, can't, like that's what's going to happen. And if we teach them to embrace it and we stay out of the process, then it allows them the space to do what they need to do and they actually learn how to be in their bodies and how to follow their yeah unique guidance and their own systems. My, our kids are intuitive as fuck. They know themselves, they know their bodies because we teach them and we give them these spaces to do this. And so you know, like, understanding your human design in relationship with anybody is a game changer.
Speaker 1:Um, and I'm gonna say actually I'll just say that I know jamie said there's parenting paradox, but both of us do human design work. I love focusing on relationships and I actually love focusing on money stuff where most people don't do human design readings with money. I freaking love them. Yeah, so much about your stuff and human design. I mostly don't realize that.
Speaker 2:Um and all of that.
Speaker 1:So it's so beautiful, so beautiful, and so I yeah. So, anyway, I think I think we probably need to wrap up here. Yeah, anything else you want to say to wrap?
Speaker 2:up. Um, I nothing beyond just like. Keep going like parenting is one of the most intense initiations ever and you're doing, you're doing it, you know, like the, just to validate the, the challenge of it and to encourage. Keep going like there is always time and space if you stay present and you're willing to continue to stay at the table in the relationships with your kids or your parents or whoever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah and we love you, we see you, we know you guys are doing the best you can.
Speaker 2:Till next week. If you enjoyed this show, let us know. We're all about authentic connections, so come chat with us on social media or email. Links are listed in the show notes.
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