Episode 3: She Blocked Me?!?

Why does being blocked or unfriended online sting so much? In this episode of Redefining Normal, Jamie recounts a personal experience of being blocked by a friend without any explanation, shedding light on the emotional turmoil and the unsettling lack of accountability in social media interactions. We unravel how this throwaway culture, where relationships can be casually discarded, affects our emotional well-being and the importance of addressing conflicts directly.

Rejection and abandonment are primal fears that still hold power over us, and we explore these in detail. Through personal stories and client experiences, we highlight the necessity of self-inquiry and integrity when dealing with the pain of being blocked or unfriended. By examining these emotions, we uncover valuable life lessons and reinforce the concept that every closed door can lead to new opportunities. This honest discussion not only touches on self-worth but also emphasizes personal growth through adversity.

Painful experiences, no matter how challenging, can be transformative. In this episode, we showcase real-life examples of heartbreak and relationship breakdowns, illustrating how these tough moments can lead to profound personal evolution when approached with curiosity and openness. From the dynamics of relationships to the importance of self-reflection, we navigate the complexities of letting go and the liberating feeling of staying true to oneself. Join us for an engaging conversation filled with spontaneous insights and authentic connections as we invite you to share your thoughts and experiences with us.

Chapters

• 0:01 Navigating Social Media Etiquette and Friendships
• 9:53 Embracing Self-Worth and Personal Growth
• 16:01 Embracing Pain as a Gift
• 30:01 Navigating Relationships and Self-Discovery
• 35:00 Authentic Connections and Random Conversations

Transcript

Keri: 0:01

Welcome to Redefining Normal. Join us as we question conventional thinking and talk about the courage it takes to create and live a deliciously vibrant life.

Jamy: 0:10

This podcast is for people who know there's a better way to do life and love how we show up in connection to others our kids, our partners, our business and, beyond that, our relationship with money, vitality and, more than anything, ourselves.

Keri: 0:26

We're two shamelessly unapologetic moms choosing to experience the fullness of life.

Jamy: 0:32

And we're collapsing the conditioning that says you can't live a life of pleasure, peace and abundance in the midst of the mundane of life, responsibilities, work and kids.

Keri: 0:43

Thank you for listening in. Let's do this On this episode of Redefining Normal. We are going to be talking about kind of social media etiquette and friendships and when they kind of just disappear, right, like what the heck happened, when you're sitting there going with like that, what the heck happened? Experience. So and we're saying this because we were just talking how Jamie had just said to me um, I just had a friend who blocked me on Facebook. It's so weird, like I don't know what happened and so we just want to have a conversation about it Like what happens? What's the normal etiquette, what has been in the past? Like why are we? Why? I think it's kind of weird that on social media, we have like less rules or I don't know. It's just weird, like we have a. Even if we start to talk about like cancel cultures and all these types of things, that it's like people feel that they can just project all of their crap all over you, right, yeah?

Keri: 1:45

and like oh, I have a free reign because I'm sitting behind a computer screen.

Jamy: 1:48

Yeah, yeah, about that right yeah, it's true, um, and I think that this is a common thing. It is, I mean, so many layers to this right. But if you're on social media, um, whether professionally or personally, whatever, like, I think this is a common experience where you think that you've like got a certain relationship with someone and then, like, all of a sudden, you recognize that they have like blocked you and somehow, unbeknownst to you, there's beef that you didn't know about. Like, what in the world happened? Yeah, and I think, for me, that the thing that I always take away from this is, um, you cannot control what other people like think of you or how they perceive you. And this, for me, is such a key in that is because, like, literally, when you are clueless, um, that anything has changed, but this other person feels so strongly that they cannot stand you that they do not want to know you exist on social media.

Keri: 2:59

It's not just like, not just like.

Jamy: 3:01

I'm going to unfriend you, but I block, I block you block is like I do not want to know that you exist you cannot find me anymore, you cannot stop me, nothing, yeah and I think this speaks to intimacy and vulnerability too like how throw away culture we are with relationships and friendships like, oh, you made me uncomfortable out and what does that do?

Jamy: 3:27

like it, it like dehumanizes in a lot of ways, right, like this is a human being that you've painted a picture and created some story around that justifies you throwing them away. Versus, like the friendship that is deeply, um, vulnerable and important and enough that you recognize, um, I'd like to you know, at least address this thing. And on the flip side, because we are all about paradox here, some relationships do not belong in your life. For me, no, they're both true, and I think what we're just talking about is the nuance and what does put relationships in one versus the other.

Keri: 4:12

Yeah, it's interesting because, even as we talk about this, even just bringing this conversation to here, it makes me think this is so far beyond actually social media and the fact that, like I think of some of the biggest heartbreak that I've ever had has been when girlfriends, female friends, have just stopped talking to me.

Keri: 4:29

Like one of my best friends who stood up in my wedding right, like she just stopped talking to me, and it wasn't soon after the wedding, I can tell you, because Robbie was a baby. It was right after Robbie was born and I was like did something happen? And I call and like no response and she just never, ever talked to me again and I'm like, how weird is that? Like you were in my wedding, like I don't know, two years ago and now we're not talking anymore and I have no idea why. Right, and so whether it's from that type of a situation and I've had mentors actually who've totally blocked me and I'm'm like I paid you, like what happened, or I was paying you- Right Like and it's definitely been something I've had to look at, cause like obviously we have our patterns and these things that happen.

Keri: 5:13

So I started to look at things like that in my life, yeah.

Keri: 5:16

Right, was it showing me, um, but also, like I'm not alone in it, like this is not some crazy question and unfortunately, between women it is quite a sister wound that happens. This isn't some totally uncommon thing, and so I want to actually bring to the table, as we talk about this, that I think part of the problem is that, yes, we have this throwaway culture where people ultimately aren't willing to face up to like, hey, if you just had a conversation with me, we could have saved the friendship. Maybe something happened because there's no learning. I always think there's no learning for me. I'm like what did I do that made you so upset that we're not talking anymore?

Jamy: 5:49

Yeah, or I mean like maybe the relationship isn't salvageable but you just part ways with integrity Right, like there is no end goal but to just show up for the conversation, to stay at the table, versus yeah, like collapsing like there's something uncomfortable here so I'm just going to ignore it.

Jamy: 6:07

What does that do in life? Right, like, where else do you do that? Just like avoid and ignore the discomfort versus engaging and learning from it? Because, like we talked about what episode? I don't anyway we talked somewhere along the line about when you avoid something, it just gets bigger. So maybe you can avoid a relationship, but whatever that thing is in you that you're avoiding is going to show up bigger and louder in other areas. Ultimately, a hundred percent.

Keri: 6:37

And I think on the other, on the on the flip side of this is our reaction, right, and I know when these first started happening to me, like the first time that that woman did that, had that experience, yeah, I was like, I mean, I was heartbroken, and when the mentor did it I was fucking heartbroken, right, and it was months of like, literally, like what did I do?

Keri: 6:57

wrong, all these things, and now when that stuff happens, like I, I like, oh okay, I don't know, you're normal, right?

Keri: 7:06

If you go, and maybe I'll have to, you know, mend my broken heart and like that, it's like, ow, that hurts, I like that friend or you know whatever happened, but also it's not me, right?

Keri: 7:16

Like this isn't. And I think this is a really big distinction because, especially on social media and I can say especially like knowing that we're talking to entrepreneurs and other messengers and having had the experience a lot of people won't actually put themselves out online because they're afraid of the feedback they're going to get, because of what people are going to say, because of the haters, because of the rude comments, right. But we got to remember that, whether it's a friend blocking us or whether it's some unkind human being who forgot that there's another human on the other side of it who's come and started projecting all their crap all over you on your post, that it's not personal, right? It's not personal, right. These are people who have their own shit, their own stuff going on for themselves and they did something that was in the right alignment for them which, be honest, may not have anything to actually do with you at all. They just were like I don't even, I don't you don't even have to know.

Jamy: 8:07

I mean, carrie, really, even as you're saying this, I'm like this is, even in your deepest, most personal relationships, like I've done this with Kyle. He's done something and it triggers my own story and I'm like you did this thing and it's like actually has nothing to do with you. This is like bringing up my own hurt, my own shit, my own whatever, and I think this is the new normal that we want to talk about, though, is like self-reflection on both sides. Self-reflection when you're projecting on someone and making it about them. It's very rarely about them. They are just showing you something, um, and then also reflecting on, like this has nothing to do with me, this other person. It's sad, it's a bummer, like like there are women that I love deeply, like that I really do care about, and even if there's tension, even if there's weirdness, even if there's like painful things, um, I see the human, the humanity, the sisterhood, the. But okay, also, this is coming from the woman who, um, I mean, I'm I'm kind of interjecting something here that we'll talk about at some point.

Jamy: 9:11

Um, early on in my marriage, kyle was having um an affair. Yeah, and this is coming from the woman who went to that woman to really try to talk to her sister to sister, about what was going on, to forgive her, to love on her and to understand her, even through my heartbreak. Great. So, like sisterhood, I think, is important to me, and I have not always been the best sister. Like I will, I will also own that I have definitely acted in shadow and been shitty to other women in a lot of ways.

Jamy: 9:46

Um, but that's the paradox of being human. Um, but I don't even remember where I was going with this. I guess just that there is, um, a responsibility to ourselves. I think to to reflect on what's happening when, um, we feel the rejection of somebody else having their moment, having their trigger and blocking us. Um, and really I don't know, coming into integrity with ourselves on what that's showing us. I even think about and I'll let you expand on this because I know that you really have a take on this but, like when we think about level two of the spiral and tribe and belonging and what actual wound that brings up, like when someone wants to cancel us or wants to like throw their projections at us or blocks and unfriends us, like the core wound that that's actually bringing up.

Keri: 10:43

Yeah, ultimately, I think it's like so much to do with our worthiness, right, that we're not worthy of being seen, that we're not worthy of being loved, and so then we take that to heart, right, and like I love how you even said the paradox before, jane, because I think it's really interesting when we look at if you can actually remember that you've done this to another woman, like there is no way I need, like I'm next week 46 years old, you're 46 years old, you know.

Keri: 11:09

There's no way that we have gotten to this point in our lives without hurting another woman at some point intentionally or unintentionally right, where we've shut a door on something that was like this does not feel good anymore, right, and so when we can actually put ourselves into those shoes, we can then remember that exact thing of what you're saying is that it's not personal, right, and it's not about my worthiness. It's not about whether I'm good enough. It's not about whether I'm a good enough friend or what I have done, right. It is about I am still showing up, like. Ultimately, we can ask ourselves am I showing up in my highest integrity with myself? Right, and if you're not, that is your own, your own inquiry, right, and we get to decide if we repair that or not In ourselves.

Jamy: 11:54

Repair that, yeah.

Keri: 11:57

Right and the reflection. I love how, even as you said it to me, Jamie, that like this is a reflection, like it has been a pattern for me. One of my biggest fears is the abandonment fear. Don't abandon me, Right, Like, don't leave me. And so, of course, what did the world show me? Hey, get abandoned. See what happens.

Jamy: 12:13

Right. Is that generational to us too? Because, like in astrology, we all have Chiron and taurus, and taurus is about home, safety, foundations, money like all of that, and so there is like a self-worth core wound that runs in our generations as well I wonder, I wonder if it would be different in different generations.

Jamy: 12:36

But even beyond that carrie, like even deeper than that, when you look at like primally in our brain getting abandoned, like kicked out of the tribe, meant that right. Like if you did not have protection of the group, right, then you didn't have food, you didn't have protection from wild animals or from the elements. Like this, this, this trigger is primal and it runs deep and it's not true anymore. Like if you get kicked out of one group, guess what? There is another group that is ecstatic for the thing you're saying, and so this like out in the wilderness alone bit is is a mental experience. It is actually not physically true, um, in the way that it used to be.

Keri: 13:29

So interesting Cause, when you say that it's, it made me think of this conversation I was having with a client yesterday and we were talking about martyring. She was actually offered like we were working on manifesting a job for her and she was without actually having to apply, without actually having to do anything. She actually had the school board come to her, say we've been talking about you, here's this job. And I went sister, fuck, yes, right, like she was all stressed about all these pieces of it, right, and I'm like you were just handed a gift, right, yeah, last week we get, yesterday we get on this call and she's like I don't think I can take it because it might take this away from this woman who it's her job and I don't want to take that from her. And I was like that's not for you to say the school board has just offered you this right and you're refusing it regardless of her journey. You're making an assumption based on your thoughts about her journey and what's supposed to happen for her and if you go and martyr yourself, you take away whatever lesson she's had to learn, because this isn't on you. This is the school board saying you are the right person for this job. She is no longer the right person for this job. Right, and whether it's you or somebody else, someone else is going to fill it, so it might as well be you. And if you actually bypass this, you then say to God hey, I just asked for this thing. You sent me the lifeboat exactly how I wanted it to look, and now I'm going to say no, right, and in doing that, you take away your own gift. Thank you, god gift. And this is why I'm thinking of this. You take the gift away of the lessons that she had to learn.

Keri: 15:04

Right, and so often when we have, when we've been blocked, when you've had a friend removed, or when somebody's moved on or whatever, sometimes it's literally like I know for me, when I've had best friends disappear in my life or have closed doors on things like that, other doors open to the most amazing people right when these, where these people took the energy and they were so right for you at the time, they no longer can come with you onto that life, the next piece of your life, the next path on your life, Right. And so I think sometimes, when we get wrapped up in the thought of, oh my God, I'm so hurt she's not here, she made this decision. Blah, blah, blah. Or I don't want to, I don't want to move on from this friendship. We're actually taking away the whole gift that comes to the other person or to ourselves.

Keri: 15:51

If it's us who gets blocked, that says you know what? I now have this door that just opened for new experiences, for this whole thing to line up. And when we martyr ourselves or when we self implode because we think somebody did something to us right, that is really just their journey, then we don't allow ourselves the gift of the healing. And I say often and we'll talk about this throughout the whole podcast Like for me, heartbreak is like heart opening right Anytime something hurts, that hurts our heart. It's an opportunity to actually love ourselves more and there's more love that can come in when we can look at it from that perspective, versus oh, she did it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, right, or I won't give that to a person.

Jamy: 16:34

It's like embracing a suck, though, right Like. This is part of that conversation of like, painful shit is a gift if you can allow it to be, if you can expand your perspective of it. I see this in parenting too, a lot actually like, um, parents want to protect their kids from painful situations and of course there is that instinct, right like, but also I think that stems from the fact that we haven't fully integrated the lessons of our painful experiences. But once we do like, once we fully come into like I mean like, even like I mentioned earlier in this particular episode affairs like the wounds that that brought up the shit, that that that was such a painful period in my life and in my marriage and in my parenting, my marriage and in my parenting. And now I'm like I would not be where I am right now had I not journeyed that.

Jamy: 17:33

I am so grateful that that we journeyed that experience and even on, like, this higher self perspective, like I am so grateful to whatever part of Kyle agreed to play, that bad guy part in our relationship so that I could experience and navigate and learn what I did on a soul level in this lifetime from that, and it's through that that I'm like I need to let my kids have their painful experiences, even as a mom. If I'm like, fuck, don't do it, it is going to break your heart. This is going to be horrible and hard. I'm missing that. There's something really beautiful and liberating and expansive If she can journey that with intention and with presence and with curiosity. Right, so right, like, yeah, embrace the suck, because there's something beautiful in it too.

Keri: 18:14

But the paradox it's interesting because, even on affairs, I just recently watched two men navigate and it was a guy, who it was the two men were one guy who'd been either married or engaged or like in a you know that kind of a partnership, um, and then the other guy who was the one who ended up sleeping with his partner, right. And so they actually reconnected and in the end, when through this process that they went through, um, the one who'd been cheated on had said thank god, like that he was at first. When this man came to him, he was like I don't know if I want to talk to you, I don't know if I want to deal with you, blah, blah, blah. But also, when he actually sat with it, he was like thank you, because, because you did that, I did not end up with that woman who would have made my life a living hell. It would not have been been what I wanted. And now I'm in the most amazing aligned marriage with the most beautiful child who I could not I have the chills who I could not be more grateful for, right.

Keri: 19:07

And so I actually kind of think of it sometimes that there's a Garth Brooks song that that says is unanswered prayers. I heard it in high school it was so long ago but I love the song, right, the message in the song. I'm not like a Garth Brooks, I'm not a country singer, I'm not any of that. But this song, like thank God for unanswered prayers, thank God for the moments when we prayed for something or when things landed in our laps that were like this is hellish, yeah. Or even talking about cheating Right, we've talked about it with Scott and Andrea got together, right when the guy who I was dating ended up with my best friend and and it was a whole nother episode guys right, but like to be honest.

Keri: 19:46

Three days later Jamie you know this like after I processed it out and got angry as fuck about it and hurt by it. It was one of the biggest catalysts in my life.

Jamy: 19:54

Yes, yes, truly, it's opened you to some freaking amazing connections and like exactly what you need and want, right, yeah, and here's the thing I just want to point out, because I think the narrative is. But, like you know, the flip side of the story you shared was he didn't end up with that woman whatever, and I stayed with Kyle. Like my unanswered prayer ultimately was like I thought I actually thought I was telling my kid this on the way to school the other day I thought I was going to marry my high school boyfriend. Like I did not date Kyle in high school, I had a different boyfriend and I deeply like imagined a whole future with him. You know, and it's like my unanswered prayer led me to exactly where I am.

Jamy: 20:42

And it's like my unanswered prayer led me to exactly where I am and, and it's true, right, like what you think, what you think you want, like what your human brain thinks is best for you is oftentimes not the case, like we cannot see the immense gifts that the universe has for us and we are often shooting solo. So, like just stay open to the thing. I mean, like I never would have guessed in that in those moments, that Kyle and I would define and create the intimacy and the safety and the honesty that we have now right Like to the point where, no matter what happens, it's like we're here, we're in it, we love each other. We've created an agreement that gives both of us the freedom to change and move and be and yeah, I mean like who would have guessed that when we were both navigating like these deep core wounds and maybe we'll do an episode about it, cause there's a lot to that story that has, like what led up to all of it and, funny, how did we end up on affairs from getting blocked?

Keri: 21:53

Because, at the end of the day, right Like it is blocked by right Like we've been set out by somebody who, like we, didn't, we don't feel like we had control over yep, right, and what is our response?

Jamy: 22:05

no matter what, I do I mean, like the only thing we have control over ever, ever, ever, ever is our own actions, yeah, and our own interpretation, yeah, of what's happening. And why the fuck would you choose a story that is disempowering and hurtful, yes, like getting blocked by someone. You can be like, oh my God, what did I do wrong? She hates me, you know whatever. Or like that woman is on a journey and I'm not a part of it right now and that's none of my business. I'm going to keep doing me and being loved by the people that are here. You know, like the thing that happened is still the same, but how we interpret it is entirely up to us.

Keri: 22:42

I think that's the thing. Like if we look at how we want to redefine this and how we want to redefine normal, the situation can be the same, right, like I said years ago, these broke my heart and like I would spend months processing and trying to figure out what I did wrong and all this stuff. Now I'm like, ok, well, and I think the thing to not limit here or not, yeah, not limit here or not, yeah, like put limitation or yeah, whatever, I don't know the word I'm saying right now, but like it is to say that we don't want to forget that in that moment, it's really important to feel the feelings right, like it fucking hurts when those moments happen. Right, it might hurt when this woman that you think is like, oh my God, that was a really good friend of mine and now she just blocked me. Like you are allowed to a hundred percent and you and you, I think you must, I think it's a good thing to do, to walk, to feel into that feeling Right, but the the, the magic comes because we feel it. We go.

Keri: 23:29

Okay, well, I cannot play the story we talked about this, I think, on the last episode. Not play the story in our mind and let the story take over. I can feel the feelings of this hurts. I don't need to make up a whole story because you don't actually have the truth of whatever happened. On their side. You might never have the truth of whatever happened.

Keri: 23:46

We can send them compassion and forgiveness and love because we're like, obviously you're doing something and something's hurting over there that you would have done this experience right. Send them compassion and love and forgiveness and move on right, because it's when we hold onto that that we then end up in these sick, unhealthy. We repeat the pattern. Until you learn it, you will continue to get people who do this right, which was that journey that we've talked about. Look at, I kept doing it until with my dating and there was abandonment, shit, because I was like I had to learn my lessons right, until finally I was like, okay, I can be free until I'd felt it right. I won't say I'm free. I'm sure in my lifetime there will be.

Jamy: 24:27

And I I'll tell you, the more you feel it like, the more willing cause. Like you said, like when these things used to happen in the past, like it felt super intense and super painful and like easy to collapse into it, like now I was like, oh, that's a bummer, like I actually didn't have to navigate a whole lot of like, sadness or anything, because my new normal really is just recognizing that there's something I'm unaware of that at this point is none of my business, because I wasn't included in that conversation. Um, and it was very easy to shift from like oh, that's, that's weird, that's a bummer, to like whatever. Um, but yeah, in the past there have been times where, like it's really super sad and like I do, I go into like all the stories and all the feels and I stay there. I make it mean something that it just doesn't mean.

Jamy: 25:17

So new normal really does mean that like new ways of being become the baseline for moving forward. When you really do practice these things Like it's not, like it's hard forever and you try and be intentional over your neural pathways, adjust your, your perceptions, adjust and you do create new baselines that are a better for lack of better word like a, a more sustainable or, um, a serving launch pad for the next thing. Right, we're meant to evolve and that we get to choose what direction we do that in.

Keri: 25:59

Yes, yes, and as I look at I guess I hear you say that and experience it I think one of the one of my driving questions lately has been does this move me towards my goal? Does this move me towards the intention of what I'm creating in my life? So, for me, because I've had so many mental health issues and because I've spent so many months of my life in a bed depressed over, sometimes I would say, not trivial things, but things that I now I'd be like they are relatively trivial things, right, are relatively trivial things right, relatively right that I can say, like I can make the choice and Jamie's had to walk me through this sometimes this isn't like a natural, this didn't come naturally for me, like I really had to work this so I can make the choice that I could space, spend my time in bed for three months being really depressed about something that happened. But does that move me closer to my goal? Well, no it doesn't.

Keri: 26:52

So I can feel this, I can experience this and I can go. Okay, that happened. Now move on, because me dwelling in it and taking the energy that it would have taken, because someone blocked me, because some person left me, because, whatever, it's not going to change my life by sitting there in the three months. The only thing that's going to change is that I didn't get any more closer to my goal by dwelling in it for three months. Right, I can go. Okay, well, I won't make up a story. Then that happened and I can move on. Right, and then my thing, my process now might be sometimes minutes, like Jamie said, sometimes I'm like, oh, that's funny, like literally sometimes I laugh about it and then it's then moves on.

Jamy: 27:27

Right, okay, I wonder what happened there.

Keri: 27:29

Okay, yes, that was the best thing for you. Yes, I'm moving on to something else.

Jamy: 27:33

Right, there's such freedom in that, though, there is.

Keri: 27:37

Right, because then we don't take ourselves off our path, because for me that would have taken me straight off my path. Yeah, it blocks my path. And now I'm like no, my path is so much more important than the external stuff that shows up, that says to me if I go that way, that's a distraction to pull me off my path, If I go that way, it's a distraction to pull me off my path, or I can go. Yeah, I noticed that that happened and I got my path. You're apparently not on it anymore.

Jamy: 28:02

Right? Well, and this is like cause we talked about in an earlier episode, like North star, right, you got to know what your path is. You got to know where you're going or you're aimless path. Is you got to know where you're going or you're aimless, like you are wobbly and flip-flopped everywhere? Um, the other thing you were talking when you were talking about that, though, this like aha moment around this idea of abandonment, because it is a generational, um, chiron and taurus thing, self-worth value, whatever.

Jamy: 28:30

Uh, why do we want so badly to be with someone who does not want to be with us, right? Why am I like no, you need to love me, when there's probably a whole world of people like you we were saying earlier, like some relationships it's like hard, hard to feel loved, and like it requires so much effort and there are people that would like, without any effort, with so much ease, meet you exactly the way you want to be met, but you cannot find that person. If you are chasing the one that has such a hard time meeting you where you want to be met, like, why are we facing the one that is saying I don't want to do that for you, right, and that's, in marriage, about us right marriage relationship internally.

Jamy: 29:21

But then that's what we're chasing versus this recognition that, like I, am deeply lovable and valuable and I'm going to trust that that person is going to show up. Right, like it's interesting, I mean, I have two daughters and you have two sons. Right, like they're in this adolescent phase where we are entering companionship and dating. And like I mean I was 17 or she'll be 18 in a couple of days and recognizing, like, the relationships formed at this age. I mean, like I knew Kyle when I was 18 and I'm married to him now. Right, so, like these are not meaningless relationships that happen in at 18. Um, but this dynamic of watching kids, teenagers, adolescents which obviously goes into adulthood because we were still doing it in our dating years of clinging to someone who has shown us they can't meet our needs, right, what is? You know? It's like this, this awareness that when we recognize our own value, we're not throwing it at someone who's like saying no, thank you Right, right, it's kind of like I think right, I think ultimately you know the new normal can be.

Keri: 30:34

we just say thank you for the blessing that you gave me of leaving my life and showing me that I'm not supposed to be on this path with you anymore.

Jamy: 30:41

Yeah, and beautiful.

Keri: 30:43

Thank you so much for the beauty that was in it, right, and thank you for showing me everything that you did in the relationship and thank you for being here for me. And now what else is out here Like it's like now, what's the possibility? Who's going to show up now? Yeah, magic is going to show up now, because that space has been cleared, because apparently we're not supposed to be in it.

Jamy: 31:00

Yes, of like what could be, yeah, and it's interesting, I feel, to bring into that, um, like there is discernment in knowing what is worth fighting for and what is not. But only you know that and you have to be brutally honest with yourself around that. What are you avoiding and what are you moving towards? And those things can be very hard to discern and it really does take self-reflection and like brutal honesty. You can't avoid yourself and you got to sometimes do the wrong thing and look from it Right, like it's not always perfect.

Keri: 31:36

I loved dating for the, for the fact that one of the things that was like always, like this guide of a manifestation tool for me, I'm like, oh, that didn't work, so you exited, thank you, because you weren't actually what was supposed to be here, because you had all these other things that weren't working Right, excuse me. And then I'd be like, okay, well, that didn't, that wasn't right. Like I always call data, like dataing right, like it's just a data, right. And then I'm like, okay, so now I'm going to, I'm going to call this in and, jamie, you would watch me do it Like I mean, it happened fast, right, I could call someone in the next day and be like, oh, I got this thing Right. And so when one door closes, it allows us to see what didn't work and open a door to something else, and it literally like that's what I loved about it and I love about it is like it just opens doors so quickly to like how fast can I bring something new in?

Jamy: 32:23

Yeah, Right and it's magic. Apply this to all of life. I mean like business, parenting, any sort of relationship. Like, try something, right, see what way do you get back, adjust accordingly and do again. We get stuck in this like, right or wrong, I'm gonna fail, is it? You know? Like, what stop you in this lifetime on this planet? Like, holy shit, that's exciting and you're not going to figure that out if you're scared to try anything along the way. Right, like yeah, well, well, james, universal truths from getting blocked on social media I think I think we've.

Keri: 33:18

Uh, I think we ran the circles on that one right interesting anything you want to talk about social media.

Jamy: 33:27

Feel what you got to feel about it. If it's something worth fighting for, bring it up. But otherwise, just self-reflect and let us show you, like where maybe you are feeling fear of abandonment or insecurity or whatever. Integrate that or get support. Integrating it whatever it is. It doesn't, it's not personal, it actually has probably very little to do with you. Or, if it does, correct it, like repair it, whatever you got to do, but like be an integrity with yourself and if you're an integrity with yourself, let the chips fall where they may. Oh, maybe it's. It's. It's liberating, liberating as fuck.

Jamy: 34:06

Yeah, it is I don't have anything else to say, I think, but I do think that we have these little fun little we need to start documenting, cause I feel like we do need to talk about the, the, the backstory of the affairs. Yes, the, the whole show of friends and lovers, because I'm still a little hot under the collar about that one. Yeah, that activated my protective big sister. No, yeah, it did it all right. Yes, until next time. We love you so much. And, um, come join us for more random, nuanced, meandering conversations about whatever happens to pop into our adhd brain and let us know how this, how this, landed for you have you, have you navigated or journeyed your own experiences of being blocked, or whether facebook or whether outside of you know?

Keri: 35:09

let us know how this, how this landed for you? Have you, have you navigated or journeyed your own experiences of being blocked, or whether Facebook or whether outside of you know? Let us know?

Jamy: 35:20

All right, love you. If you enjoyed this show, let us know. We're all about authentic connections. To come chat with us on social media or email links are listed in the show notes.

Keri: 35:34

And please make sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite platform and share the magic on your socials.